I’ve always loved cars. Even when I was little. Don’t get me wrong—I had my Barbies too—but if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it wasn’t anything typical. I wanted to be a monster truck driver. I loved how loud they were, how they worked, what made them move. I was always curious about what was going on underneath it all.
RC cars were part of that for me growing up. It was something I did with my dad and my uncle. Nothing fancy, just time together, figuring things out, breaking things, fixing them. Looking back, it meant more than I probably realized at the time. And then after my uncle passed, we just kind of… stopped. Life moved on, and that part of it faded away.
Until a couple years ago, when my daughter asked for one.
And just like that, it all started over again.
At first it was simple—something fun to do, something to get outside. But as we started messing around with RC cars again, something else started happening too. Things I didn’t plan, didn’t expect, but now I can’t unsee.
It started helping my boys.
Both of them are on the spectrum, and hand-eye coordination has always been something we’ve worked on. And without even trying to make it a “lesson,” RC cars started helping. You could see it. The way they controlled the throttle, the way they adjusted steering, the way their movements became more intentional over time. It wasn’t forced. It was just happening while they thought they were playing.
And then came the social side of it.
They’re not perfect at it—not even close—but they’re learning. They’re learning how to talk to people, how to ask questions, how to be part of something bigger than just themselves. Sometimes it doesn’t come out the right way, sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes I step in and help guide it a little… but they’re trying. And that matters more than getting it right every time.
They’re also learning things that are hard to teach sitting at a table.
Like winning and losing.
We still struggle with that one. Losing is not easy in our house. The emotions that come with it are big, and they’re real. But now we have something to work through it with. They’re learning—slowly—that it’s part of it. That you can lose and still come back. That you can try again. That it doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you’re still learning.
And then there’s the curiosity that comes with it.
It didn’t take long before one car turned into wanting to understand all of them. Crawlers, bashers, now drift cars… they want to try it all. They want to know the differences, what makes each one unique, what works better for what. And instead of just watching it on a screen, they’re actually doing it. Touching it. Breaking it, making someone else fix it, asking questions, still having someone else fix it… and one day we’ll get them to fix their own breaks. But right now, we’re okay being the ones who help. Because sometimes fixing something they broke just isn’t something their brain can handle in that moment—and that’s okay. We’re working on it.
And honestly… one of my favorite parts of all of this?
It brings our whole family together.
There’s something about it that pulls everyone in, even on the days when everyone is kind of doing their own thing. And the bond our kids have with their papa through this… it’s one in a million. The time, the patience, the shared interest—it’s something they’ll carry with them forever, whether they realize it now or not.
It also gave them something to do with their older sister.
And if you have a teenager, you know that’s not always easy. (Real talk.)
She’s in that phase of figuring herself out, doing her own thing, and sometimes it’s hard to find common ground that doesn’t feel forced. But this? This became one of those things. It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens. And I’ll take that.
Somewhere in all of this, I realized it wasn’t just about the kids either.
Because I came back to it too.
At first, I was still the one handing things off when something broke. I didn’t have the patience. I had too much going on. But when I started a youth RC group, I didn’t want it to just be about driving. I wanted the kids to understand what they were using. So we started small builds—age appropriate, nothing overwhelming—and I wanted to see what they thought.
And then I realized… I wanted to do it too.
So I did.
Now I understand how to put one together. Now I want to learn more. I want to build one completely from the ground up. And I’ve learned it’s not about the most expensive parts or having the “best” setup—it’s about what works for you.
It’s also pushed me in ways I didn’t expect.
I’m not a huge social person, even if it looks like I am sometimes. I don’t like asking for help. But this has made me do that. It’s made me ask questions, figure things out, admit when I got something wrong. And people show up for that.
So while this started as something simple… it turned into something a lot bigger.
For my kids.
And for me.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about RC cars.
It’s about what they’re learning without even realizing it.
Focus. Coordination. Patience. Problem solving. Social skills. Confidence. Connection.
And maybe most importantly… it’s about giving them something real to be part of.
Not something they just watch.
Something they actually live.
If your child is on the spectrum—whether they’re high functioning like my kids or non-verbal—take them to an RC store. Let them try one. Let them explore. You never know what might be that one thing that sparks something in them. We have so many friends on the spectrum who come together through RC cars, and it’s not a “one type fits all” kind of thing. It’s for everyone. Every age. Every personality. And who knows… maybe even that teenage daughter of yours might surprise you and want to join in too.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST, NOR HAVE I RECEIVED FORMAL TRAINING IN THIS FIELD. THE INFORMATION I SHARE COMES FROM PERSONAL RESEARCH AND STRATEGIES I HAVE IMPLEMENTED—OR PLAN TO IMPLEMENT—WITHIN MY OWN HOME. MY GOAL IS TO PROVIDE INSIGHT INTO APPROACHES THAT HAVE SUPPORTED MY CHILDREN AND OUR FAMILY, AS WELL AS TO SHARE WHAT HAS OR HAS NOT BEEN EFFECTIVE FOR US.
